Conflict
Conflict starts as a disagreement. One person believes one thing opposite of the beliefs of the other person. They could each allow the thoughts of the other to be considered, or they can defend their position. “I understand why you might feel that way,” is a great way to soften what comes next. Self-control and the understanding of persuasion methods could bridge the gap between conflicting opinions, allowing constructive discourse. Most people don’t show restraint or patience. Instead, they confront. They defend. What results is conflict, and conflict is killing us!
First the voices get louder, with no clear winner in the battle. They step it up and add vulgar language and personal attacks. Next, we witness some shoving and pushing with “right in your face” anger. Escalation continues.
When Accused We Tend to Defend
This conflict began as one person against the other—a “me versus you” contest. If it’s a major issue, we know there is power in numbers, so we scour the web and share our stance with others, building an army of recruits, indoctrinating as we go. Once it becomes us versus them, one group versus another, the cycle repeats, with a magnification of power, and the intensity of numbers.
The crowd gets loud, then adds profanity. They chant derogatory slogans led by a megaphone carrying leader. They wave signs in the air, some professionally printed, screaming their stance. But they don’t stop at pushing and shoving. It’s a crowd. They can get violent, then hide in the crowd, so they become more brazen. Opportunists, having nothing to do with the controversy, infiltrate. Cloaked by the crowd, they feel free to loot and damage anything in sight.
Media Steps In
The conflict is recognized by the media. Controversy translates to viewers. The more shocking the story, the more people have got to see it. Viewers are what advertisers pay for, so ad revenue will go up if the media exploits this battle. They send in cameras and reporters, and slant their story to fit the political position they promote. The other side is there too. When the stories hit the airwaves, reality is embellished to support each stance. Neither side cares about the boundaries of the truth. They freely lie to degrade the positions of the enemy.
Choose Anti-Conflict Methods
We need to show restraint and patience, and listen as the other side talks. We need to allow civility. Finding common ground will save us. Instead, both sides yell, “Fight, fight, fight!” and we do!
As I pointed out in my article, Pick a Side, people choose information sources supporting their opinions. Do they scour the web seeking balanced news and reporting? No! If what they hear supports their beliefs, it must be the true reality. It becomes even more dangerous when irrational people decide to take matters into their own hands to silence the other side. What comes next are shocking headlines. If those news flashes are not earth shaking by themselves, experts who subscribe to the same positions are offered as proof and the real possibilities of a devastation sure to come in the future. They look into their crystal balls and tell us the worst of what could happen.
I’m not anti-media. I’m anti-conflict. When conflict goes beyond discussions and turns into violence, fear grips us all. We tune in to see what happens next, and the conflict grows. Controversy leading to honest discussions can bring a new understanding that benefits us all. We need to talk, but even more important, we need to listen! We need to allow the other side to state their case. If there is merit, we need to embrace it, even though it might have been against our previous stance. We will grow if we master communication, sales, and persuasion skills and put them to use. If we do not, we will continue to fight!
