Are You a Uniter or a Divider
Are you a uniter or a divider?”
That’s the question I got when I bumped into John Sloan. I told you some of his bizarre thoughts in my article and video called “Divide and Conquer—The Downfall of Western Civilization.”
I looked at John and said, “What?”
John raised those dark eyebrows of his, and louder he asked, “Do you unite people, or do you divide them?”
I still didn’t get it.
John explained. “Some people, through their actions or their words, unite people, and other people are always pointing fingers and dwelling in negatives and they wind up dividing people. So, what would you call yourself, a uniter or a divider?”
“Me?” I replied. “I’m a uniter—I guess at least most of the time. I try to be a uniter. I help people communicate with others. I wrote a book about it. And I try to stay on the positives. I guess it’s about self-control.”
John smiled and said, “Not easy, is it? Since you feel you are a uniter, can you name any other uniters who are alive today?”
My mind sifted through a list of people. I said, “The only person I would call a uniter is The Pope.”
John smiled. “What about regular people—folks you know maybe?”
“Huh,” I said. “I guess most regular people would be uniters most of the time—especially when they’re with other people—not online. Some people are not uniters, but they aren’t dividers either. They’re kinda neutral. They just go on with life.”
John said, “Yeah. That used to be me. Neutral. One day I woke up and realized I could influence things, like showing people the advantages of being a uniter. The biggest advantage: Put your energy into positives and positive things happen. Put that energy into negatives and you get negatives—like an old pig—you stay stuck in the mud.”
John made me laugh. But, thinking about it, I said, “Yeah. People put these negative tirades online. I don’t understand why. What do they hope to gain? Do they think trashing the words or actions of people on the other side will get them converts?”
John nodded as he said, “Just makes mad people madder and drives the sick ones to action—conflict or even violence.”
“Yep,” I said. “And then the media features that conflict or violence. If it hits a nerve for their viewers, they glorify it. They bring on skeptics. They pay experts. They shock you with the disasters that ‘could’ happen. They do all they can to sustain interest. Blood boils. People take sides. We get controversy and conflict, and it floods media platforms as they fan the flames. The more controversy and conflict, the more people tune in, and the longer the issue stays at the top of the news, the more people tune in. We are spiraling out of control.”
John said, “You got it. And here’s another problem. You see your side as uniters, right? The other side sees themselves as uniters, too. Somebody has it wrong.” John took a deep breath and said, “Phillip, you called The Pope a uniter. Okay, of all the leaders of our world, the celebrities, the politicians, the sports stars, and anybody else who gets attention just by picking up a microphone—can you name another uniter?”
My mind raced. “No!” I said emphatically. “Politicians—all dividers. Some celebrities are neutral. The ones who get into controversy are always dividers. Same with sports people.”
John agreed. Then he asked, “That self-control you talked about—how do you control the impulse to lash out at the other side?”
I thought about his question for a moment. Then I replied, “I don’t let my beliefs and what side I’m on destroy relationships with any friends or family. The love of family and friends is too important to me to allow conflict to divide us.”
As John turned to go on with his day, he ended by saying, “Wouldn’t it be great if politicians and the other dividers loved our country and its people enough to control their divisive thoughts? Imagine a day when they all use their platforms to unite rather than divide the world!”
This is Phillip J Stone with a question for you out there—are you a uniter or a divider?
For more insights go to PhillipJStone.com
