Questions Allowing Only “Yes” or “No” Answers

Some of the lessons I learned as a kid stick out so clearly in my mind. This was a little lesson, but I will never forget it. I was in the car with my dad—no idea where we were going. He glanced over as he kept an eye on the road. He said, “Can I ask you a question and you give me a quick yes-or-no answer?” I nodded. “Just a yes or no, you promise?” I nodded again. Absurd as it was, he asked, “Do you always put poison in the dogfood when you feed our dog?”

I would never poison the dog. How do I answer? My mind was spinning. I was confused—in a fog. Almost without pausing, dad went on, “Phillip, did you ever see a show on TV where the attorney asks the accused on the witness stand to answer with only a yes or no?”

I had no idea where he was going with this, so I just played along. I remembered watching court shows on TV, so I said, “Sure. The attorney raised his voice as he interrogated the accused. ‘All I want is yes or no. Did you kill that man?’ the attorney asked, as he scowled at the accused.”

“Right,” dad said. “It’s an easy yes-or-no question. He either did or did not kill the victim. If the accused says, ‘Yes,’ he’s admitting to be the killer. If he says, ‘No,’ the trial goes on. Here’s a dangerous yes-or-no question. Imagine the attorney asking, ‘Did you still beat your wife before she died—yes or no?’ What can the accused say if he cannot utter more than a yes or a no?”

I sat there thinking this through. Dad could see I was struggling, so he said, “Let me help you here. If the accused says, ‘Yes,’ That means he did beat his wife up to the end. If he says, ‘No,’ it shows he used to beat his wife in the past, but stopped before she died. But, what if he never, ever beat his wife?”

Suddenly it hit me! I understood! I said, “I get it! He can’t answer with a simple yes or no. He has to be allowed to explain.”

Dad grinned. “But what if no one lets him? You see, it’s a trap. If he doesn’t recognize the trap, he could get caught in it! If someone takes a video of it, he could look like a fool, or be presumed guilty when he isn’t. If what he says is shocking enough, the video could go viral— a real reputation-killer!”

Then dad slowly listed some dangerous yes-or-no examples. I did my best to think through each one:

• “Do you still beat your wife?”
• “Have you stopped taking illegal drugs?”
• “Are you tired of always losing?”
• “Do you plan on continuing to cheat on exams?”
• “Will you keep on complaining about the company?”

“I get it now,” I said. “If I am ever told my answer must be yes or no, with nothing else allowed, I could even use one of these examples to explain why I may need to go beyond a one-word answer. I might need to say more.”

Dad nodded as he said, “Good point. They require only yes or no, you can say, ‘Not all questions can be answered with only a yes or a no. If you were only allowed yes or no, and I asked you if you still tell lies all the time, either answer and you are a liar! Some questions cannot be answered with only a yes or no.’ Then ask for permission to explain if you need to.”

Dad smiled, grabbed my leg and with a quick loving squeeze, and said, “Proud of you, Phillip!”

My smile was so wide, it hurt my face. I sat there glowing. Maybe it was more than the lesson. Maybe it was dad’s praise that made this such a special memory!